I think that I am a people centered listener. I feel that when I listen to people I have compassion for them and try to be as understanding as possible of their emotions. When interacting with others, I always try to compromise and I think that I work well in groups. I feel comfortable in both groups and interpersonal situations.
I think I learned this approach from my family. My father is a therapist so he is always encouraging me to be aware of other people’s feelings and take them into consideration. My mother is also very compassionate and always shows me that she cares about my feelings when she is listening to me. I think in this case, I learned by example through my parents.
This approach works effectively in most situations. When you are talking to other people, they want to know that you care about what they are saying, and I think that I am pretty good at doing that. I do not think that this approach is appropriate in all situations. If you are talking to a boss or in a professional conversation, focusing on emotions might not be the best way to listen. In this case, you should focus on content while you are listening.
I can remember one time I was talking with a friend and she seemed very upset. I was not actually listening to the words she was saying but how she was saying them. I detected a lot of strong emotions in her voice and I asked her if she was ok. She, however, did not want to talk about whatever was bothering her and actually got mad at me when I asked. She thought I was not listening to anything she was saying. In this case, I used people-centered listening to interpret the way she was saying things, but she wanted me to use content centered listening and just listen to what she was actually saying. I now know for the future that some people would rather have you focus on what they are saying rather than how they are saying it.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Technology and Interpersonal Communication
Assumption 1: the computer screen can deceive.
This assumption absolutely applies to Facebook. I know that people make up fake Facebooks for different people and do not reveal their true identity. It is very easy to be deceptive on Facebook because all you need to get one is an e-mail address. This can be very dangerous so you need to make sure that you are careful about who you become friends with. It is also pretty easy to hack someone’s Facebook and pretend to be another person so you have to be really careful about your passwords as well.
Assumption 2: online discussions often prompt introspection.
This assumption applies to when we send messages back and forth to each other on Facebook. A lot of times you will receive a private message from a friend that will have you stop and think about what really happened and how you interpreted things. I know if I am fighting with a friend they will sometimes send me a message rather than talking face to face. Reading this message will really get to me think about what happened and figure out why it happened. Having other people point things out in a private way really helps me think about my flaws and learn from them.
Assumption 3: online discussions promote self-orientation.
You completely control your Facebook page. You decide who to be friends with, who can see your page, and what you want to put on your page. If you are online and don’t feel like talking to someone you can just logout of your Facebook, or choose to ignore them. There is not the need for immediate response like there is in face to face conversation.
Assumption 4: self-disclosure occurs online.
People can choose to put as much or as little information on their Facebook as they want. I personally choose not to put too much information out there because I like to keep my personal life private. However, you can post pretty much anything and everything on Facebook if you want to.
Other concepts:
Screen names: screen names and e-mail addresses are something that you need to pay close attention to. If you are applying to college or applying to a job a lot of the time e-mail will be used. It is important to make sure that your e-mail address is tasteful and not something that you are going to be embarrassed by. I know that in the admissions office if we see an e-mail such as sexijen@aol.com we are a bit turned off by this student.
Privacy sacrificed: you must also understand that when you sign up for these social networking sites, your privacy is being sacrificed. You are opening yourself up to the public eye and putting all of your information out there for everyone to see. Even if you delete things off of your Facebook, they are never really gone. You must be very cautious about what private facts you decide to reveal.
Enhancing your educational accessibility: the internet has become the best resource for finding information and learning new facts. I know that any time I have a question, I immediately Google it. The internet is very convenient and very helpful. It is a useful invention if you know how to use it properly.
Abbreviated language: the use of abbreviated language has caused many problems over the past few years. There have been a lot of problems generationally when it comes to using abbreviated language. A lot of older people do not understand the language that younger people use. There have also been a lot of academic issues with abbreviated language. Students are so used to using this language that they have actually begun to use it in schools, which is very confusing to a lot of teachers. You have to know when and where it is appropriate to use this language.
Write literally: It is very important to say what you mean and mean what you say. When you are on the internet anyone can see what you are writing or posting and everyone interprets things differently. You must be very clear about what you mean so you don’t wind up in trouble when someone misinterprets what you said.
This assumption absolutely applies to Facebook. I know that people make up fake Facebooks for different people and do not reveal their true identity. It is very easy to be deceptive on Facebook because all you need to get one is an e-mail address. This can be very dangerous so you need to make sure that you are careful about who you become friends with. It is also pretty easy to hack someone’s Facebook and pretend to be another person so you have to be really careful about your passwords as well.
Assumption 2: online discussions often prompt introspection.
This assumption applies to when we send messages back and forth to each other on Facebook. A lot of times you will receive a private message from a friend that will have you stop and think about what really happened and how you interpreted things. I know if I am fighting with a friend they will sometimes send me a message rather than talking face to face. Reading this message will really get to me think about what happened and figure out why it happened. Having other people point things out in a private way really helps me think about my flaws and learn from them.
Assumption 3: online discussions promote self-orientation.
You completely control your Facebook page. You decide who to be friends with, who can see your page, and what you want to put on your page. If you are online and don’t feel like talking to someone you can just logout of your Facebook, or choose to ignore them. There is not the need for immediate response like there is in face to face conversation.
Assumption 4: self-disclosure occurs online.
People can choose to put as much or as little information on their Facebook as they want. I personally choose not to put too much information out there because I like to keep my personal life private. However, you can post pretty much anything and everything on Facebook if you want to.
Other concepts:
Screen names: screen names and e-mail addresses are something that you need to pay close attention to. If you are applying to college or applying to a job a lot of the time e-mail will be used. It is important to make sure that your e-mail address is tasteful and not something that you are going to be embarrassed by. I know that in the admissions office if we see an e-mail such as sexijen@aol.com we are a bit turned off by this student.
Privacy sacrificed: you must also understand that when you sign up for these social networking sites, your privacy is being sacrificed. You are opening yourself up to the public eye and putting all of your information out there for everyone to see. Even if you delete things off of your Facebook, they are never really gone. You must be very cautious about what private facts you decide to reveal.
Enhancing your educational accessibility: the internet has become the best resource for finding information and learning new facts. I know that any time I have a question, I immediately Google it. The internet is very convenient and very helpful. It is a useful invention if you know how to use it properly.
Abbreviated language: the use of abbreviated language has caused many problems over the past few years. There have been a lot of problems generationally when it comes to using abbreviated language. A lot of older people do not understand the language that younger people use. There have also been a lot of academic issues with abbreviated language. Students are so used to using this language that they have actually begun to use it in schools, which is very confusing to a lot of teachers. You have to know when and where it is appropriate to use this language.
Write literally: It is very important to say what you mean and mean what you say. When you are on the internet anyone can see what you are writing or posting and everyone interprets things differently. You must be very clear about what you mean so you don’t wind up in trouble when someone misinterprets what you said.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Nonverbal Immedicay Behavior
For my score I got a 112, which is above the average for women. I have noticed that throughout the day I do use a lot of nonverbal. I feel that I use my eyes a lot to communicate with others as well as gestures. I am always moving my hands and pointing or showing something with my movements. I feel that my score shows that I am a very people oriented and friendly person. I am constantly interacting with other people and I feel very comfortable communicating with others. I also think that using nonverbal during conversation helps the other person know that you are listening and paying attention to them. Eye contact is especially important for this.
I feel that I am so nonverbally expressive because of the way I was raised. My family is very close and is constantly using nonverbal communication. I also have a twin sister, so growing up we would have a lot of nonverbal codes that we would use with each other.
I feel that I am so nonverbally expressive because of the way I was raised. My family is very close and is constantly using nonverbal communication. I also have a twin sister, so growing up we would have a lot of nonverbal codes that we would use with each other.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Adaptation Theory
When I conducted my conversations, I first talked to two friends, on separate occasions, about the water situation in Lawrence Township that we are currently experiencing. My third conversation was with my boss at my internship, who had heard nothing about this incident. What I noticed with my two friends was that we all reacted to the situation in the same way. We were all pretty upset which could be seen in our facial expressions and tone of voice. I noticed that when I raised my voice, my friends did too. When I got upset about something, they did as well. I also talk with my hands a lot when I am upset, and I noticed my friends doing a bit of that as well. One of my friends was biting her nails during the conversation and I did not even realize that unconsciously we were doing the same thing. Our actions and words mirrored each other because we were all experiencing the same situation and all having the same feelings about this situation. So, when I talked to each one of my friends and they were both upset, our behaviors almost mocked each other. However, when I spoke to my boss, the situation was very different and I saw a different type of adaptation. Since I was speaking to my boss, I had to speak in a professional tone and my delivery was much different. I spoke a lot softer and with a lot less enthusiasm due to the fact that I was in a professional setting. This definitely affected my boss’s reaction and adjustments. Since I did not use all of the same intonations and gestures with her as I did with my friends, she did not seem to think it was that big of a deal because I did not express that it was that big of a deal. Since I was not getting upset, she did not get upset. Her reactions mimicked my calm tone. So, I saw that in each conversation the adjustments that others made relied heavily on how I was speaking and gesturing.
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